


Some Words

by TheGreatCatsby



Category: Psycho-Pass
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Spoilers for season one, Suicidal Thoughts, and akane being a good friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatCatsby/pseuds/TheGreatCatsby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Ginoza says something while drunk that he wouldn't say while sober.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Words

“If I relax something terrible will happen,” Ginoza says, frowning into his drink. 

Sasayama slaps Ginoza on the back and laughs, long and loud. Kougami also manages a laugh, but his heart is not in it. 

“The safety of the whole city doesn't depend on you,” Sasayama says. “Hell, the safety of everyone in the PSB doesn't depend on you.” 

Ginoza narrows his eyes at Sasayama. 

“I think what he means is that he's in charge of solving quite a bit of the city's crimes,” Kougami says. 

“That's not what I meant,” Ginoza says. “I--” 

“Here,” Sasayama says, shoving another drink at Ginoza and nearly spilling it all over the bar. “Keep drinking. You're a funny drunk.” 

Ginoza shoves the drink away, spilling some liquid over the sides. “I don't want another drink. I want you to listen to me.” 

“I am listening,” Sasayama says, grinning at him. 

“No, you're not,” Ginoza snaps. “Neither of you are listening. Why did you even come out with me if you weren't going to listen?” He looks like he's three seconds from launching himself at Sasayama. 

Kougami puts a hand on his shoulder. “We are listening.” 

“That's not what I meant.” 

“What did you mean?” He leans closer, hoping to get Ginoza to focus more on him and less on the way that Sasayama is stifling more laughter behind his hand. 

Ginoza's expression changes, and something like fear flashes across his face for a moment. “If I relax, something terrible will happen,” he says. And he looks at Kougami with a desperation that makes Kougami's chest ache. 

“Why?” Kougami asks. It doesn't make sense to him not only as a statement but as something that Ginoza would think. Ginoza likes facts and certainties, and what he's just said is neither. 

Sasayama clears his throat. “Are you two actually having a moment or something?” 

Kougami feels a stab of annoyance towards Sasayama. Sasayama is his friend. He likes Sasayama. But because Sasayama is an enforcer, he has to be with them at all times. Which means that Kougami can't talk to Ginoza about it alone right now. Which means he won't be able to talk to Ginoza about it at all. 

Ginoza has already tensed at being reminded of Sasayama's presence, and he stands up, swaying a little, and mutters, “It's late. We should go back.” 

“What are you, a mom?” Sasayama says. “It's not that late.” 

“You are on the first shift tomorrow,” Ginoza reminds him, and that's more familiar territory. Kougami is almost relieved. 

They head out of the bar and Kougami thinks that maybe he can orchestrate things in such a way that Sasayama will walk ahead of them and he and Ginoza can talk quietly behind. 

But then Sasayama, who is actually drunker than either of them, spots a group of men and shouts, “Oi! I'm a detective! Hands in the air!” And Kougami has to bodily drag him away before any trouble starts. 

And he and Ginoza part ways after dropping Sasayama off. 

Or rather, Ginoza leaves a little too quickly. Like he's scared. 

*

“He left me. And you will, too.” 

It feels like being smacked. Kougami stares at Ginoza, whose hands are clutched around a glass of whiskey. They're sitting in one of the PSB's recreation rooms, and no one else is around, and Kougami thought that they should relax with a drink and catch up. 

He made the mistake of talking about Masaoka, because Masaoka is one of his enforcers. He made the second mistake of asking Ginoza after his first drink why Ginoza gets so angry at Masaoka for seemingly little things. 

“I didn't ask about me,” Kougami says, a bit angry. And he has the right to be angry. Is that what Ginoza thinks of him? 

“I know,” Ginoza says. 

“Then what the hell do you mean by that, huh?” Kougami puts his drink down on the table, hard, which gets Ginoza to look at him. “What kind of person do you think I am, that I would leave you?” 

Ginoza blinks and takes a moment to process what he's said. “Kougami-” 

“I am not your father.” 

“Kougami-” 

“I mean, Gino, how could you even think that? That I'd leave? Because let's face it, out of the two of us, the person who pushes people away is you.” 

Ginoza's eyes narrow, and Kougami recognizes that look. It's a dangerous one. “I push people away,” he repeats, his voice oddly quiet. 

“Masaoka is trying to reconnect with you,” Kougami says, “and maybe he hurt you but at least he knows it and at least he's trying. And-” 

“It's too late,” Ginoza snaps. “He should have been around before.” 

“-and you don't even try with the enforcers,” Kougami continues, raising his voice, “because I know you're not friends with any of them--” 

“It's dangerous to get close to--” 

“--and now you're telling me that I'd leave you? Because, what, I'm the sort of person who isn't loyal to his friends? Who can't stick around?” 

“Because everyone does!” Ginoza shouts, standing up. Whiskey sloshes to the floor, and he closes his eyes for a moment, takes a deep breath, and then hurls the glass across the room, where it shatters against the wall. 

Kougami jumps up. “Gino, what the hell?” 

“I hate whiskey,” Ginoza snarls, and he turns and walks out of the room, allowing the door to slam behind him. 

Kougami stands there for a moment, heart beating too fast, anger mixing with confusion at the shards of glass on the floor across the room, at the sound of shattering and Ginoza's yelling mixing in his head. 

The next morning Ginoza sends him a message reading, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said.” 

Kougami decides to drop it. Not because of the apology, but because by the time he's gotten that message, he's stopped being angry about what Ginoza's said. 

Instead, he's started worrying about what the shattered glass meant. 

*

“Sometimes I--” Ginoza cuts himself off with a shake of the head. 

“Sometimes you what?” Kagari asks, resting his head on his folded arms and grinning at Ginoza. He hadn't meant to get Ginoza drunk, but it just sort of happened, and Shion told him that the juiciest secrets at the PSB (and in life) are always spilled under the influence. 

And okay, maybe he had meant to get Ginoza drunk under the guise of relaxing. 

Ginoza is the most closed off person that Kagari knows. He just wants something to satisfy his curiosity. The only thing he knows about Ginoza outside of work is that Ginoza likes to go to dog-lovers' meetings, which seems at odds with his cold personality. But that isn't exactly juicy. 

Ginoza doesn't look at Kagari. He's had two drinks and is staring at the pots hanging from the ceiling in the kitchen Kagari likes to use to cook elaborate meals sometimes. Usually when he's trying to impress someone, but also when he gets tired of the not-so-great cafeteria food. 

It's been quiet for a few moments too long, but Kagari waits, because Ginoza looks like he's on the verge of saying something he wouldn't say if he wasn't drunk. And Kagari has patience for those kind of things, even if he's trying really hard not to cough or bounce on his seat. 

“Sometimes,” Ginoza says, finally, “I wish that...that I had died instead of Sasayama. Because then Kougami would be happier.” 

Kagari sits up straighter, cold settling in the pit of his stomach. This isn't what he meant by juicy information. Part of him wants to ask what he means by that, and part of him wants to run away and never mention it again, and try to forget it, because that's not the sort of thing Ginoza should be saying. 

Maybe he likes Ginoza better as just his uptight boss. 

He slides off his stool, and Ginoza doesn't even look at him. Kagari knows he should probably say something, but this is so far outside of the realm of what he expected that he can't think of anything. 

“I'll see you tomorrow then, Ginoza-san?” he asks, forcing some brightness into his voice. Giving them both an out. 

Ginoza nods and glances down at his drink. He looks tense, and for a moment Kagari wants to stay and ask what's wrong. But he feels like he's the wrong person. Absolutely the wrong person. 

So instead he leaves, and he pretends that he never heard. 

*

“I'm not good for anything.” 

“Don't say that.” Akane reaches out to touch Ginoza's arm, his real one, but Ginoza pulls away. “You are. I wouldn't have asked you back if I felt differently.” 

“Then why did he leave?” Ginoza stares at her, and he genuinely looks as though he wants an answer. But it's not one Akane can give. 

She's worried about him. He's too thin, the skin under his eyes too dark, and anyone would be messed up after losing everything. But she wants to do something. 

“It didn't have to do with you,” she says, which she can say because Kougami hadn't meant it as anything personal. Even if she doesn't agree with him. 

Ginoza goes to take another swallow of his drink, but Akane reaches out and takes the glass from him. That is the most worrying thing, really. That she'd come to check on Ginoza and found him drinking. “I needed something to help me sleep,” he'd told her. 

“This won't help,” she says, setting the glass out of reach. 

Ginoza looks away. “Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here anymore.” 

“Don't say that!” She moves closer to him, grabs his arm. “Please don't say that. That's not true. Please tell me you don't mean that.” 

Ginoza flinches. But he won't look at her. 

“Ginoza, this isn't healthy,” Akane says. “I know you've lost so much, but we care about you. Kougami cares about you, even if he's bad at showing it. I care about you. I would be sad if you weren't here.” 

Ginoza takes a shaky breath. 

Akane sighs and throws her arms around him, enveloping him in a hug. With stiff movements, he returns it. 

“Akane,” he says. 

“Those kind of thoughts won't fix anything,” Akane tells him. “If you weren't here, who would stop the rest of us from going too far? Who would look after all the less experienced people? I can't do that.” 

She feels Ginoza relax, a little. And then he pulls away. 

Akane smiles at him. “Ginoza-san, I know you like facts. And given what I've just said, I think it's clear that it's much better that you're here.” 

*

“Sometimes I don't understand you, but I think I'm beginning to. I think you're right in some ways. And I think...I shouldn't fight against that so much.” 

As the night winds down, a dinner for the new members of division one to get to know each other, and to get the know the ones who've been around longer, Akane clinks her glass of champaign against Ginoza's. 

He looks more relaxed. More at peace. Not just from the alcohol. 

And she knows he's not just talking about her.

**Author's Note:**

> The thing about the dog lovers' meetings is canon. I read it on tumblr (user kumapillow who has lots of great PP translations) as a translation from, I believe, one of the psycho-pass games where Kagari wants a woman and he's told that Ginoza goes diligently to meetings with lots of pretty affectionate women, so Kagari should ask to go to one of the meetings with him. Kagari does, and Ginoza offers Akane to go with them. Everyone is super confused by him offering Akane to go, but they all go. Turns out it's a dog lovers' meeting, and the dogs love Kagari, including the female best of show winner or something like that. Just thought I'd share.


End file.
